{"id":33,"date":"2014-01-07T19:50:02","date_gmt":"2014-01-08T01:50:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/czrbr.com\/?page_id=33"},"modified":"2014-01-16T10:36:05","modified_gmt":"2014-01-16T16:36:05","slug":"nonsense","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/czrbr.com\/?page_id=33","title":{"rendered":"Nonsense"},"content":{"rendered":"<style type=\"text\/css\"><!--\nH1 { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }H1.western { font-family: \"Times New Roman\",serif; }H1.cjk { font-family: \"Arial Unicode MS\"; font-size: 24pt; }H1.ctl { font-family: \"Arial Unicode MS\"; font-size: 24pt; }P { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }\n--><\/style>\n<h1>About Nonsense<\/h1>\n<p>Writing good nonsense is almost a lost art. Those new fangled stand up comics are as near as modern day gets. In the older literature, many authors could forget the constraints of reality and forge ahead boldly into flights of fancy, free flow of thoughts, and occasionally word combinations for their sound as pronounced without regard to meaning (e.g. the poems of Lady Edith Sitwell), and variations upon themes. These can best be described as the Julia Sets of reality &#8211; often Beautiful with the best ones seemingly amazingly complex but really very simple if you know the equation or source, but all imaginary (yep, the square root of minus one and all that).<br \/>\nRobert Heinlein, in his book Number of the Beast determined that there are six axises necessary for to describe space. These are the three of the space we all know (up &#8211; down, across back and forth, and through and through, better known as x, y and z), plus time as the fourth, plus gradual minute changes in the texture of the world (e.g. the absence of the letter &#8220;j&#8221;) as the fifth, and a digital type one of every fantasy or imagined space every created as the sixth. Mr. Heinlein used this last to comment on many follow authors, who have created their own universes. Fascinating and worth seeking out. String Theory states there are eleven axises, but the remaining five unused are tightly curled up.<br \/>\nIf you don&#8217;t like these bits of nonsense, avoid them. But, confining yourself to the three axis of space seems to me to be very boring. If you enjoy these bits of nonsense, have fun. Perhaps you could venture out into these free spaces yourself a little more often and write your own. It is really good both for the Soul and for the Spirit, to say nothing of the exercising of the Mind. Happy Tuesday.<\/p>\n<p>Most of the nonsense bits below are my originals. If they came from somewhere or someone else, I have tried to recognize the origin, if known.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Purple Cow Poem<\/p>\n<p>by Galett Burgess<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\"><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><strong><span style=\"color: #cc33cc;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\">I\u00a0never saw a purple cow<br \/>\nI never hope to see one;<br \/>\nBut I can tell you,\u00a0anyhow,<br \/>\nI&#8217;d rather see than be one!<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #cc33cc;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\">(by Galett Burgess)<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #cc33cc;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\">The poem became so famous and a thorn in Burgess&#8217;s side, so he wrote the later poem<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">\u00a0<span style=\"font-size: large;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/strong><strong><span style=\"color: #cc33cc;\"><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">Ah, yes, I wrote the \u201cPurple Cow\u201d\u00a0\u2013<br \/>\nI\u2019m sorry, now, I wrote\u00a0it;<br \/>\nBut I can tell you\u00a0anyhow<br \/>\nI\u2019ll kill you if you quote\u00a0it.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><strong><span style=\"color: #cc33cc;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Later July 15 was appointed as The Purple Cow Appreciation Day<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\"><!--\nH1 { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }H1.western { font-family: \"Times New Roman\",serif; }H1.cjk { font-family: \"Arial Unicode MS\"; font-size: 24pt; }H1.ctl { font-family: \"Arial Unicode MS\"; font-size: 24pt; }P { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }A:link {  }\n--><\/style>\n<h1>The Tuesday for Thursday Problem<\/h1>\n<p>The Problem with Thursdays<\/p>\n<p>Be especially careful on Thursdays to not insult Tuesdays.<\/p>\n<p>Productivity experts tell us that Thursday is the least productive day of the week. Also, they tell us that Tuesday is the most productive day of the week. Many Thursday people are not interested in reproduction. Thus, there are fewer Thursday people available to manage Thursday as it comes around in the week. There are many more Tuesday people than any other day of the week, due to the larger productivity on Tuesday. Therefore, occasionally The Committee has to hire Tuesday people to wear Thursday\u2019s robes to manage the occasional Thursday, on which The Committee cannot find a Thursday to hire for the job.<\/p>\n<p>Tuesdays, are just more organized and more get done on Tuesday, than on any other day of the week. Wednesday is the hump day &#8211; the day we go over the hump and can look into the weekend. People are straining to see the weekend. On Fridays, too many people break out early, so little really gets done on Friday.<\/p>\n<p>So few places really work on Saturday that Saturday is usually wasted. Sunday is, at least in the Western World, so devoted to rest and celebration that minimal work get done.<\/p>\n<p>Now Mondays, are usually chaotic, what with all the happenings and work left over from Saturday and Sunday. But last Monday, just felt more demanding than usual. It is my opinion that The Committee could not find a Monday person to manage that Monday. The Committee had to hire a Tuesday person, of whom there are plenty available, to wear Monday\u2019s robes and manage last Monday. Usually the Tuesday people attempt to follow the rituals and rites of the day they are hired for. But last Monday, it felt like the Tuesday person in charge just forgot he was supposed to be a Monday, rather than a Tuesday. But most often Tuesdays are hired to manage Thursday. So be careful not to insult Tuesdays on Thursday.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\"><!--\nH1 { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }H1.western { font-family: \"Times New Roman\",serif; }H1.cjk { font-family: \"Arial Unicode MS\"; font-size: 24pt; }H1.ctl { font-family: \"Arial Unicode MS\"; font-size: 24pt; }P { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }A:link {  }\n--><\/style>\n<h1>The South Wind Problem<\/h1>\n<p align=\"RIGHT\"><a href=\"http:\/\/czrbr.com\/nonsense.htm\">The Nonsense Page<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Did you breathe much of that south wind the other day? You have to be careful of those south winds in this area. We are on the major route back to the air factory in eastern Montana for rejected air from Texas and most of the south back to the Eastern Montana Air Factory for refurbishing. We can only hope that the rejected air is not too toxic, as the Committee never releases information on their air shipments. The hard north winds, through here occasionally, are rush orders to replace the rejected air. They sometimes ship the new air cold and allow it warm up on the way. The Committee has the Montana Air Factory hidden under one of those rock outcroppings so common throughout remote pastures in eastern Montana, thus making it harder to find and vandalize.<\/p>\n<p>I understand there is also an Air Factory in the Smoky Mountains along the East Coast. They have a huge problem cleansing the air from those huge urban areas, and the smoky air is the residual left over from cleaning up that horrid smog.<\/p>\n<p>The Northern Arizona Air Factory in the Arizona Strip, north of the Grand Canyon specializes in hot dry air for the deserts. If they shipped the more moist air from Montana or the wetter air from the Smokies into the desert, it would create an environmental emergency of unprecedented proportions.<\/p>\n<p>Edgar Rice Burroughs, in his Chronicles on Mars, documents that on Mars, their Air Factory is near Mar\u2019s South Pole, protected by the Great White Apes. Burrough\u2019s field technician, John Carter, spent quite some time at The Martian Air Factory, rescuing its supervisor and helping with essential repairs.<\/p>\n<p>So be careful breathing the south winds.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\"><\/style>\n<p align=\"CENTER\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: large;\">The Eclipse and the Moon Maids<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDid you watch the eclipse last night?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYep. Sure Did. We had lots of fun beating our pots and pans together, beating on drums, stomping angrily and gesturing angrily.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy in the world did you do that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTo scare the away the dragon that was trying to eat the moon.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Did it work?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDidn&#8217;t you see the whole full moon after the eclipse.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes. I did. Many thanks for your efforts and success.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThanks. Ok. But I have to be truthful. All our work really did not help at all.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat! But you just told me that the moon is still up there.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah, but the real reason is that the moon is made of green cheese.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat does that have to do with anything?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDragons don&#8217;t like green cheese. It makes them sick.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOk. Ok. Let me ask you another question. Why was the moon so red while eclipsed?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIn the vicious dragon attack, two of the moon maids were injured. That was their blood dripping over the moon.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMoon maids?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYep. The moon is accompanied by several moon maids on its nightly trip. The dragon hurt two of them in his attempt to eat the moon.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAre they ok?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, sure. I just came from the hospital. They only had a few lacerations. These were sutured and they sent them home with their families.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat&#8217;s a relief. Hate to lose moon maids.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah. That wold be awful.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJust awful to lost moon maids\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe were just lucky that the cow did not attempt to jump over the moon again last night?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCows and dragons don&#8217;t get along at all. It would have been a horrible battle. The cat and the fiddle would have been left grieving. The dish would not have run away with the spoon. And probably the battle would have hurt more, if not all the moon maids.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI like that luck. Let&#8217;s go play chess.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>About Nonsense Writing good nonsense is almost a lost art. Those new fangled stand up comics are as near as modern day gets. In the older literature, many authors could forget the constraints of reality and forge ahead boldly into &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/czrbr.com\/?page_id=33\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-33","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P4emV2-x","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/czrbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/33","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/czrbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/czrbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/czrbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/czrbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=33"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/czrbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/33\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":212,"href":"https:\/\/czrbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/33\/revisions\/212"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/czrbr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=33"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}